S.T.R.E.S.S

Yeah it's just outright illogical. But even though I know it is, I can't help but act this way. I'm stressed. Is that an excuse? Coz I'm suddenly so tired of everything. I can't seem to handle anything at all. Stress - unpleasant psychological or physiological tension due to external or internal forces, which is perceived as exceeding one's ability to cope.

My favourite cognitive symptom of prolonged stress - catastrophising. Haha. So here I am. I'm going to catasphrophise my situation. I've totally given up trying to maintain an acceptable state in terms of tidiness of my room, my appearance and who knows what else. There's heaps of work and little time. I procrastinate when I believe that I have a few hours to do work. Then I get nothing done. I'm heartsick and lonely and no one cares about me. Heard enough?

Who cares anyway? No one even reads this piece of crap. That's why I write here, right? So I guess I should be allowed to say anything I want to say. Good. I hate this shit. I can't wait till school ends. I just feel so damn stuck. The same old stupid routine over and over. The same classes, the same people, the boring repetition of retarded facts and theories. Stuff that.

We're all just too god damn stressed out to do jack all. But the more stressed I get, the more I feel as though things are just stupid and I ought to just give up. Nice attitude huh? Well whatever. My life is just this stupid sine curve anyway. Up, down, up, down. I get down then I try to convince myself I'm up. Then I fall down again. Bullcrap. This is bullCRAP I say.

Bah. Why're you calling me anyway? I don't want to talk to you. I just want to fester in my own cloud of retardedly illogical and irrational thoughts. Talking to you will just make things worse. I'll be grumpy and spiteful and pick fights with you. Hang up damn it. Thank you.

Blah. What's the point of it all anyway?

"We've got this gift of love,

but love is like a precious plant.

You can't just accept it and leave it in

the cupboard or just think it's going to get

on by itself. You've got to keep watering it.

You've got ot really look after it and nurture it."

John Lennon (1940-1980)