Twilight.

Finally saw HP6 yesterday! Weeee. It was good. I liked it. Not judging it on the basis of the book, it was an enjoyable movie. Lavender was soooo annoying I wanted to hit her >.<"

Ran out of things to read so I decided that I'd brave New Moon again the other day. Failure. I read maybe 2 pages and then I chickened out. I don't have the bravery to read that book again. Sounds stupid I know, but that book is a nightmare for me.

So anyway. I was checking out New Moon online and checked out one of the trailers for the movie. 1:37 seconds worth of trailer. 1:37 seconds worth of teariness. Bleh! Honestly I'd be a laughing stock watching that movie. I'd probably cry all the way through. Just like in the book... >.<" Not funny.

Anyhoo, I still love Twilight (secretly) anyway. =]

These are a few of my favourite things...

Done sth wrong again. Urgh. This is so stupid.

Ok. So, a better way to write a blog. I'm going to talk about all the things that I'd really like. *save save save save save* Right, keep yours eyes on the prize O.o

1. To move out to an apartment with Lo+k7riz (THE goal)

2. Samsung F480 in PINK =D

3. Optical drive for my netbook <3

4. A shmexy camera

5. 2nd piercings on my ears

6. Shmexy bedspread

7. Relief from certain things

8. Sucess in many things

Wish me luck =]

A not so long day.

The day wasn't too long today. Even though I had a 3 hr eng pratise exam. Haha. By the 3rd essay, you just crumble into a squishy pool of brain juice and lack of creativity. Yup. Well I survived it. Had an absolutely awful moment when I was desperately trying to remember a word. I remembered it after I finished my essay. So I went back. I was sooo happy. After all, in my process of conjuring up that word, I swear I must've looked a bit constipated. >.<" Word constipation.

So today was a good day. Yup. I feel better about myself somehow. Not sure that anything has changed but still, I feel better. In a way. Haha. I like eng. I enjoy it. I just gotta study harder for it! I remember the good old days when it used to be one of my fav subs. xP

How nice it is to blog about something trivial.

On the other hand, I FINALLY got my Valentine's present home. O.M.G it has been like.. 5 months. My poor locker was vair full. xP

I envy. Envy those who are with their friends laughing happily. Belonging. Oh how I wish I could belong. Yet I do not. Wish I could find people with which I can talk about more than superficial things. People who care about me that would understand. Maybe that's why it's so hard for me whenever conflict rears its ugly head. I am a pariah.

Someone once said to me 'Why try to fit in when you are born to stand out?', I remember as I read those words tears had been slowly sliding down my cheeks. But it extends beyond belonging in the sense of being uniform with other people. I mean belonging in the sense that people want me there. People I can confide in and in turn would confide in me. Yet that just doesn't exist. I am isolated.

My brain is simmering with a thousand contradictory thoughts. I cannot live this way. On one side of the scale, I desire, I want, I need. On the other, I am repulsed by my dependance. What a raging, fiery war these thoughts rage in my mind. Yet no one who could understand. I am alone.

I'm sick of needing. I need to be needed.
But who needs me?
I am nobody.