Sometimes stolen time can be so sweet.

Perfumes I L.I.K.E! =D

Viva La Juicy - I love the name. And it smells not bad. =]

Anna Sui Secret Wish - one of the first perfumes I've ever fallen in love with!

Pretty Nina - self-explanatory.

On The Beach - oh such a BEAUTIFUL PERFECT scent ^^

Nina - by Nina Ricci - love the scent!

Nina Precious Swarovski - never smelt it before, but it looks nice!

Anna Sui Dolly Girl - bought it but haven't opened it yet! Love the scent as well!

Night of Fancy - appears to be quite alluring!

Magic Romance - I love it as much as Secret Wish, esp. coz it's PINK!

Love by Nina Ricci - the perfume I want the MOST on this list. I love love love love love love love love love love love love love love it! =D

Haven't smelt this one either. Flight of Fancy.

DKNY Red Delicious - delicious!

DKNY Be Delicious Kisses - I think it was out for a limited period of time. But it's so pretty!

DKNY Be Delicious Fresh Blossom - need I say more?

Bonjour L'Amour! Et bien je l'aime!

Baby Doll Pom Poms Limited Edition - saw it at Discount Chemist. Love at first sight!

So anyway, there are heaps of different perfumes out there.. some that I've seen in the past that you can't really buy anymore.. some that are new.. and some that have just been there for a little while. This is the collection of fragrances I'm fond of - looks, brand, scent or whatever else! =D

And though I yearned only to be saturated by your love.
That which I find is only the shadowing of the present by sweetened memories.
And despite words upon words I have spoken.
Their meaning only fades away into ashes.

What does it matter anymore?
I am imprisoned in my misery.
Words upon words you gave me.
Yet they were but words that were never to be my reality.

I cannot fathom my existence.
Nor the existence of what I perceived to be.
Now I am incarcerated by doubt.
And further estranged from emancipation.

Who is there is save me?
Oh the times that I have cried out.
All for naught, for nothing.
And I am left with only my tears.

And why do I fall short of passion.
That which I offer in overwhelming plethora.
Though feel not impassioned.

And why do I fall short of the trance.
That which I cannot seem to conjure.
Seems to waver in its uncertainty.

And why do I commit such acts.
That which lacerate the conscience.
Superfluous in purpose, process and repercussions.

And now I feel such derision.
That which flounders all my efforts.
Cuts me silent in my path.

And attribute to the spinebill.
That which it desires sought freely.
Bring at last to me my sweetness.

The memories of our experiences and personal events are categorised as 'episodic memories'. But they're not just memories of events. These memories carry also with them all the feelings and emotions that we felt as they occurred.

Here is my question: Why is it that we remember the negative feelings so strongly that they overshadow all our happy feelings?

I really hate myself right now. And yet I still wallow in my own self pity. I'm a nutcase. And there's no one here to comfort me. Oh god there is no one ever to comfort me.

I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself.
Why can't I fix things?
Why can't everything be good?

I hate myself.

And I never knew how much it would hurt to have you treat me as a stranger.

It is not strange that we are born the way that we are. Can we not learn to appreciate what we have been dealt instead of always restricting ourselves and blaming ourselves for being what we are?

Having just read someone's blog, I begin to speculate again about all the things that dictate our behaviour. There are so many things that are 'wrong', that are 'sins', that are frowned upon. Yet are these things not simply a part of human nature? Are we not the way that we have been made? Are we not, in actual fact, critisising His creation by acting out against our nature?

Excuse me, I simply felt like exploring that idea for a moment.

On a new strand of thought, this person expressed her admiration for several couples for having endured for such a long period of time. This blog wasn't written so long ago. Yet 2 out of the 4 couples first listed have already split up. And I know for a fact that the other two are not perfect either.

Why do we always strive for perfection? What is perfection? What is whole and immaculate? If it is how we are, how nature intended us to be, is that not perfect already?

It's funny how you have a big crowd of people, all smiling and chatting. But underneath the façade, everyone is just as sad and lonely and everyone has their own problems. Everyone. Funny.

Having just taken such a strike against all the things that try to aim for perfection.. I will hypocritically wish that things were 'perfect', and if not 'perfect', at least free from whatever it is that ails us.

And then an honest word:

I would sacrifice anything to continue being with you for always. As long as you continue to love me and want me. Nothing matters so much as being with you.

I'm sick of crying.
And I really am so lonely.
But who is here to comfort me?

Well, now that I'm semi over fussing over non-existent issues and bullshit and whatever else my mind has all too willingly conjured up to torture me. I'm going to zoom back into the petty world and say that although at the time I was too troubled by my thoughts too care.. come to think of it.. that was pretty bad.

Urgh.

Now I'm gonna fuss over this.

And it's stupid.

And I don't want to bother with this.

Yet it's gonna stick.

Why did you have to do it?

SO WHAT if ________________________.

Big effing deal.

Yeah.

Whatever.

Besides that.. I just dunno.

I CAN'T THINK.

I can't study. T__T

I need to study.

I dunno what to do.

I like my original plan.

But I don't have the strength/courage to do it.

I hate myself.